Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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