He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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