How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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