I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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