i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
