i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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