Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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