I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
