Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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