Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
