I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
