somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
