pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
