Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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