look no pants
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
