My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
