I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
