If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
