Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
