Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
How external is "for external use only"?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
