while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
