I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
