guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he thought i was a dude.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
