i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
