ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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