Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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