Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
