We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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