I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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