I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
