so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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