I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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