so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
