I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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