Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize