your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
We are two peas in an std pod
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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