He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
