Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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