I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
