He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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