i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
