Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
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