Is it because I queefed?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
