Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
