I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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