So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
