Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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