Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize