They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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