Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
