if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
