i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
