You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
