This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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