I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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