I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he shaved USA in his pubs
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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