how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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